Sleeping dogs and double standards.

Boys....Relationships. Why do we dabble in dramatic situations? Why do I rather? 

I all too often choose people who are wrong for me. Glutton for punishment I suppose. I give trust freely instead of requiring any part to be earned. I have pre conceived notions of how things should be. I have high expectations yet feel anyone can reach them. 

Over the last week I have had several conversations with several people about relationships. 

What I've learned:

First I have some amazing people in my corner. Great friends with great advice who know me enough to be objective and non biased. 

I have learned that there is such a blatant double standard when it comes to dating. It is perfectly acceptable for a guy to see multiple girls (whether he is up front about it or not) but somewhere things changed and it's not ok for girls to do the same. Why is this?  I was under the impression that's kind of why you date...is to give people the opportunity. To get to know each other and to ultimately decide who is right for you. 

I have learned that I have no patience for guys who don't know what they want, that need "trained", that are passive, dismissive, untruthful, or shady. 

So I have my list of what I look for. What my partner in crime needs to be. Sometimes in the past I have thought it was a situation of having one or the other. You can have sweet, caring and emotionally supportive or you can have a sense of humor, sarcasm, and intelligence. 

If that's the case, I'll just stick to my slew of friends and call it even. But I don't think it is. I think the best of both worlds exists. 

I also have learned I don't have the energy to deal with people who won't make a valiant effort to be an active participant in a relationship. "Let sleeping dogs lie" is a piece of advice I received and he couldn't be more accurate. 

Why should I have to hope, pray, and beg someone to put forth effort? I shouldn't ... And won't actually. 

So it goes. I'm 32. Been Married. Divorced. Have had some insane relationships that would be great conversation pieces but yet I wouldn't change a bit. Every person who has entered my life....Good, bad, or indifferent has left their mark either by adding to or taking away ...and I am who I am today because of it. 

What I've also learned is there's a double standard for age in relationships. It is not unheard of for a 25 year old female to date a 35 year old male. However for roles to be reversed it's taboo. Or maybe it's just taboo in my mind. 

But why should it be? I say it's maturity. That I should not date younger because they are not mature. But on the same note I've dated someone who was almost double my age and he had no more maturity than most high schoolers. 

I think I may have been very wrong and unfair in my complete dismissal of certain guys based on age alone. I have learned...maybe...that age sometimes is a number and that I shouldn't discredit them on that alone.

Standards should be high. Settling should not be an option. Know what you want and continue searching until you find it.