There are times in life where one has to take a step back. Times in life where it seems that life has become stagnant...that there is no change, no progress, no positive movement at all taking place. During these times we have to remove our selves from the active and look at our lives from the outside.
I truly believe that everyone enters our lives for a reason. There is a purpose that each person serves in our lives. Whether that purpose is positive, negative, short term or long term...it makes us who we become and we have the opportunity to use each situation as a time for growth and change.
I recently have discovered that more days than not I am left shaking my head at situations. Now don't get me wrong... I have allowed myself to be in situations that are unhealthy at times. A huge weakness of mine is not wishing to have conflict, not wishing to hurt anyones feelings, not wishing to force change. Sometimes I think that in life it becomes easy to just be and let others guide the path that we take; however, this is never the best course.
I believe that everyone has a thought of where they want their life to be and if this thought stays in the forefront of each and every decision made, some crucial moments in life have to take place.
A few situations happened in the past several weeks that made me realize that my life was not exactly where I wanted it to be. That there were people in my life that was dragging me down, or were taking much more from me than I was willing to give emotionally. That there were negative influences, that there was temptations that I would rather not be in the company of.
Now to be fair, not one of the persons in my life that I felt needed to be removed were bad people. Truth be known, the majority of them I considered to be fairly close friends.
Talking to several people in the line of work that I do, I have heard more than once, twice, three times that in order for drug addicts to remain sober, they had to completely remove themselves from the peers that they had and surround themselves with a completely new group of peers. Not that they hated those, not that they did anything wrong....simply because for them to succeed, they needed to move on and not associate with the past.
Misery loves company! I actually have thought a lot about this and I think there are some people in life that are truly THAT miserable that they wish for others to surround them that share in that misery. Let me tell you, it is draining! Seriously...in these situations, and I have been in a few, my entire demeanor changes. From happy to frustrated. From being optimistic to being very doom and gloom. No one needs that in their life. However, with that said, I think that there are some that don't even realize they are doing that...at all.
I think that there are some people that are so engulfed with their life that they can't see past their own nose. Can't see when and how they are screwing up others lives. That they are so unhappy with their own (whether their life is good or not is irrelevant), that they find different people to "use" to fulfill that aspect of unhappiness. This seems to be the "misery loves company" aspect that I too often have fallen into the company of.
So anyway, this was the fork in the road that I was at. Not everyone from my past/ present was altered, but I seriously took a look at everyone that was close to me. From the best of friends, to fair weathered friends, male and female and I evaluated each relationship. If there was any part of the friendship, regardless of how close the friendship was, that was negative, that was off balanced, that was emotionally draining, that was not conducive for where I needed to be and where I was going, I had to cut ties with.
Maybe it's selfish. Maybe it is. However, I have never felt that my life in the form of a puzzle fit together as well as it does in this present moment in every aspect of life.
So maybe it was selfish and uncalled for and confusing for a life "friend" cleansing...but in the name of self improvement, success, and clarity...I'm good with being a bit selfish in that instance.
Change is necessary at times. Embrace it. Be selfish. You don't have to explain your motive or rationale. Besides those "misery loves company" people in your life won't understand it anyway. :)
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