There are times in life where one has to take a step back. Times in life where it seems that life has become stagnant...that there is no change, no progress, no positive movement at all taking place. During these times we have to remove our selves from the active and look at our lives from the outside.
I truly believe that everyone enters our lives for a reason. There is a purpose that each person serves in our lives. Whether that purpose is positive, negative, short term or long term...it makes us who we become and we have the opportunity to use each situation as a time for growth and change.
I recently have discovered that more days than not I am left shaking my head at situations. Now don't get me wrong... I have allowed myself to be in situations that are unhealthy at times. A huge weakness of mine is not wishing to have conflict, not wishing to hurt anyones feelings, not wishing to force change. Sometimes I think that in life it becomes easy to just be and let others guide the path that we take; however, this is never the best course.
I believe that everyone has a thought of where they want their life to be and if this thought stays in the forefront of each and every decision made, some crucial moments in life have to take place.
A few situations happened in the past several weeks that made me realize that my life was not exactly where I wanted it to be. That there were people in my life that was dragging me down, or were taking much more from me than I was willing to give emotionally. That there were negative influences, that there was temptations that I would rather not be in the company of.
Now to be fair, not one of the persons in my life that I felt needed to be removed were bad people. Truth be known, the majority of them I considered to be fairly close friends.
Talking to several people in the line of work that I do, I have heard more than once, twice, three times that in order for drug addicts to remain sober, they had to completely remove themselves from the peers that they had and surround themselves with a completely new group of peers. Not that they hated those, not that they did anything wrong....simply because for them to succeed, they needed to move on and not associate with the past.
Misery loves company! I actually have thought a lot about this and I think there are some people in life that are truly THAT miserable that they wish for others to surround them that share in that misery. Let me tell you, it is draining! Seriously...in these situations, and I have been in a few, my entire demeanor changes. From happy to frustrated. From being optimistic to being very doom and gloom. No one needs that in their life. However, with that said, I think that there are some that don't even realize they are doing that...at all.
I think that there are some people that are so engulfed with their life that they can't see past their own nose. Can't see when and how they are screwing up others lives. That they are so unhappy with their own (whether their life is good or not is irrelevant), that they find different people to "use" to fulfill that aspect of unhappiness. This seems to be the "misery loves company" aspect that I too often have fallen into the company of.
So anyway, this was the fork in the road that I was at. Not everyone from my past/ present was altered, but I seriously took a look at everyone that was close to me. From the best of friends, to fair weathered friends, male and female and I evaluated each relationship. If there was any part of the friendship, regardless of how close the friendship was, that was negative, that was off balanced, that was emotionally draining, that was not conducive for where I needed to be and where I was going, I had to cut ties with.
Maybe it's selfish. Maybe it is. However, I have never felt that my life in the form of a puzzle fit together as well as it does in this present moment in every aspect of life.
So maybe it was selfish and uncalled for and confusing for a life "friend" cleansing...but in the name of self improvement, success, and clarity...I'm good with being a bit selfish in that instance.
Change is necessary at times. Embrace it. Be selfish. You don't have to explain your motive or rationale. Besides those "misery loves company" people in your life won't understand it anyway. :)
As of today, there has been 26 individuals executed in 2014 in the United States. That's more than 3 per month. That's insane. It's hard to grasp I believe.
Though my job puts me in the court rooms, jail, and in the lives of convicted felons, it seems difficult to comprehend this amount of death row inmates.
It's interesting to think about the differences. What justifies one person to have life in prison with no chance or parole and another to be awaiting a death sentence. And really if one is to be imprisoned for "life", is that not ultimately a death sentence in and of itself?
I used to think for days on end after watching Shawshank Redemption of death row and prison and the poor little man who hung himself because he was completely lost after being in jail for so long and going back into society. I used to play the what if game. What if....someone hurt my family....and I killed them....I would ultimately go to prison. The crime would be moralistically understandable, but legally wrong. It would still be murder regardless of how it was looked at. So I would think what would I rather...life in prison...or execution. Fear, regret, loss, while awaiting execution...the walk up to the room, being prepared, and ultimately dying....or to be in prison until my body decided it was time to be done. Lets say normal life expectancy is to 80. I commit the crime at 32 ...that's 50 years to be in prison....50 years! Sometimes I think that execution is, in a way , the easy way out.
Money speaks I supposed. It is drastically cheaper to off someones life than let them stay locked up in prison their entire life, but is this ideal?
Ok, Ok...I hear the gallery stirring. I already hear counter arguments and wheels turning. On one side an argument is that they deserve nothing less than what they did to be on death row in the first place. So if they murdered their six year old son, if they raped and killed a random chick at a bar, if they stabbed a group of men at random for the fun of it, they don't deserve to live. On the flip side of this is why should it be so easy for them? Why should they have the "easy" way out? Why not make them relive that over and over again?
For that to happen, a little thing called remorse would have to take place. I suppose that's why appeals are set up so that if sincere change takes place, there is the opportunity to overturn a death penalty sentence and change to life in prison, or some sort of rehabilitation program.
Side note here....I do think that jails and prisons are a disservice for the most part. Felons go in, they serve their time, and they are out. THEY ARE FELONS FOR A REASON.
Today in court I heard a plea from an attorney to overturn a decision because her client really needed assistance. Mental health assistance to turn from the way of life she was living. I get this. I think there should be mandatory rehabilitation programs for inmates. It may sound like we are helping those who don't deserve it, but if a bit more money could go into programs on the front in, maybe the rate of recidivism would drastically decrease, hence...less crimes.
Anyway that's a huge tangent. As I was looking into executions (which may I say none of the executions this year have been from Tennessee), I found an application to be a witness to an execution. Now I understand that families of both the inmate, and of the victim would generally wish to be present for closure...but just randoms...to watch someone die? That seems a bit morbid, no?
Bucket list....go to Ireland....go skydiving....play the drums...watch an execution....really???? Maybe it's just me, but does that not go against everything kosher there is? Why would anyone WANT to do that?
I do believe we live in a violent culture. Not necessarily more so than the past. It is more in public's eyes now, and I think to a certain extent there is a glamorization of violence that hasn't necessarily been there before. How does executions help de-glamorize violence? Oh...you killed someone...that's wrong...lets kill you... hmm.
Ok, so lets black and white it. Here's my stance on it. I'm on the fence. Surprise surprise. I understand the arguments for and against both execution and life in prison. I would be completely against executions if there was not a jury to convict, and an appeal process, and a chance to flip that decision with time. I understand the cause and effect. The quid pro quo, however, I'm not sure I would want to give up the opportunity to make the perpetrator uncomfortable every time I could. To make them wonder if they ever did make it out of prison would they have to look over their shoulder constantly.
Executions are closure though, no doubt, and people who have that much forgiveness to make grand statements that though someone may have killed someone close to them, that they don't want the same to happen to them have my utmost respect and they will have a mansion one day as I happily sweep out my shack, because I'm positive I don't have that level of forgiveness.
P.S. Just as a reminder...I do not wish to be invited to anyone's necktie party.
